We all have at least one person in our lives who are a human-version of migraine.
We know them. Perhaps they live with us, work with us or even hang out with us. All they do is complain, criticise, vent and blame. These kinds of people look at the world in a very different way than ordinary people: cynically.
Are you tired of dealing with them?
You surely must have. Unfortunately, it has become a core part of your life, and all you can do about them is to learn to cope with them. You are behoved to be polite, but firm when you are dealing with the negativity just to keep the fine line between you and the person alive.
But long gone are those days when you just have to deal with them. Here are some ways on how you can keep at an arm’s distance from them and stay on track.
- Compliment
This is something really smart. Instead of reinforcing their negative behaviour, compliment them. Say stuff like “Wow! That’s wonderful. I’m impressed with how you do things.” By doing so, your conversation will turn out to see a positive face.
- Emphasise
If the person starts off a conversation negatively, diligently move on to another topic. You may respond with something like “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry about that” and jump to another topic followed by something like, “Let’s grab a coffee and discuss the Wob project. I’d love to know your ideas.”
- Repeat back
The person doesn’t have any idea how negative they might be sounding to you. But there’s a way you can subtly let them know about it. Say something like “Seems like you’re tired of being asked about it, am I right?” Possibly they will snap with an “Oh, that’s not exactly what I meant,” and you can move on to a more lucid explanation.
- Offer all you can to help
Understand from their perspective. It could be really a cry for help. Trust me, some people have a hard time seeking help, and that’s when they come off as ineffective and weak. They might couch their needs through negativity. If you think that you are capable of helping, just go ahead. It could be just what they need.
- Change the topic
Acknowledge what you’ve just heard and moved on to something more positive. Say pacifying words like, “So sorry to know about your disagreement with Vanessa, I hope you guys resolve your differences soon. What are your plans for the weekend?” Immediately move to the next topic.
- Refuse to engage
The best way to get away from all this is to set some boundaries, for yourself as well as for others. Don’t just get caught up in the drama. Be strategic and keep a neutral tone; don’t get angry, frustrated or react at all. If you don’t feel like spending your time listening to some blabber about other’s life.
It’s not going to take you places, instead take away your peace of mind and productivity. Set a time limit for everything and try to stick to it. Always say something like “I’m so sorry, I’ve got to get back to work.”
And if you think that the person is unremitting, stand up and start trying to move away. This is how you get back at it stronger.
Everyone loves a person with a rosy attitude, but it’s only the person who understands how hard it is to maintain it. Hence, it’s always wise to not influence negative behaviour. Instead, look for ways on how you can circumvent anything that’s not even near to positive. You will notice that you are starting to become more productive.