We have all been there: forgetting to put ourselves first. But why is that so?

Maybe because we have always been taught to be more considerate and affectionate towards others; otherwise it’s selfishness. That we should ever think of others and make them happy rather than thinking about our own happiness. One thing that we forget is that we should never exclude the love we have for ourselves while loving others.

We can only give others what we have in us. Hence, if we keep exhausting ourselves by giving this positive energy to others, nothing is going to be left for us. Investing in one’s own self is equally important as investing in others.

So, it’s high time that we learn how we can put ourselves first with also being considerate towards others. There’s an art to that. And there are perfect reasons for why we should put ourselves before others.

• It teaches you to be more confident

Whether you put yourself first reflects on how confident you are as a person, which improves our life. If you have more confidence in yourself, it merely means that you are more optimistic about your own self and that you value yourself as much as you appreciate others. Our confidence adds as an advantage to our relationships with others. People love being around those they are comfortable with. So, once you are comfortable being yourself, you will find that others are also relaxed by your presence in their life.

• People will stop taking you for granted

Never say yes in situations when in reality, you just want to say no. This is how you let people walk over you and your emotions. While you are being kind, others see this as a chance to treat you like a pushover. This is something you should never allow. Being nice and pleasing is good, but know that this is how people start taking you for granted. They don’t value the fact that you utilise your personal time to be there for them and thus don’t appreciate any of your sacrifices. They take significant advantage of your kind heart.

• It’s not about putting others last

Know the difference between putting yourself first and being selfish. Selfishness is when you don’t merely care about others or anything, but only yourself. But putting yourself first means that you are being kind to yourself as much as you are to others. Simply put, you are taking care of yourself just so you can be a better person and that you love yourself a little more than others. That’s not at all selfishness, that’s essential.

• You are your own hero

By now you must have already learnt that you cannot rely on others to retrieve you. You are responsible for your own happiness. You have to deal with what you feel deep down inside. Surely, miseries hurt a lot less when you talk it out with others whom you care, but when they share it with you, it heals them too. But can you get a solution out of this?

You need to be your own hero. Lift yourself up if you are feeling down. Listen to others and help them the same way you would help yourself, but never sacrifice your state of mind for anything!

• Your relationship with yourself should be pure

Once you learn the art of putting yourself first, you can really judge your own potential. You can then explore yourself. It will help you discover yourself in ways you never thought was possible. This will help you value yourself more. You will be there for those who need you, but they won’t be able to take advantage of you. Draw a line whenever necessary and never let anyone cross that line.

• Take care of yourself first

People with good hearts even do things that they can’t get something out of. However, who will take care of your needs then? You. It’s always wise to take care of yourself first. When you nourish yourself, only then you will be able to take care of others as well!

How Do You Feel When You Don’t Put Yourself in the First Place?

Emotionally speaking, we get so lost in love that we completely forget ourselves. What we do is, we judge ourselves based on the reactions that others would have on us; comparing ourselves and leaving us totally disappointed in our own efforts. In this grind, we don’t realise that we are losing ourselves and letting go of our needs.

First off, stop comparing yourself to others. Develop your own internal self-assessment about how you feel.

And if you think that you need mental boosts, design yourself a “toolbox”. This toolbox is what you can reach for when you need inspiration, hope and love. It is very likely that when you take care of your own emotional state, you will go through the ups and downs better. This will help you take care of the roller-coaster ride that life puts you through.

This is what is going to help others as well as yourself.

The bottom line is, we all improve from compassion, companionship and commitment. These are what makes positive impacts on the lives that we touch. It makes people love us more.

So, start the habit of loving yourself first. You will soon discover that it’s for everyone’s best interests, including yourself.