In today’s day and age where people are offended by almost every hair follicle that comes their way, it is hard to draw a line on what to say and what not to say.
Interestingly, in this whirlpool of irrelevant matters swirling around, there are many aspects that a lot of people freely and nonchalantly comment on without realizing that it is actually plain impolite. Dealing with so many of these rather awkward questions and comments hurled at me, I can totally point out some of the most common ones that are not cool to say or ask to anyone.
- Body Shaming Questions/Comments
Although it is a fact that being overweight or underweight should not be promoted because there are direct health concerns attached to them, body shaming somebody is always wrong. Someone you barely know well enough to call them a close friend or relative and directly commenting on their body is hurtful and offensive. There are numerous girls and boys who struggle with weight issues, resulting in lack of confidence and even graver mental conditions.
Common questions that are downright impolite range from, “You are so skinny, don’t you eat?” or “What is up with you? I could not recognize you! You have gained so much weight!” or even taunting remarks like, “Oh you look so much better with a little weight lost.”
It is indecent to comment on somebody’s weight and body type and majority of the times people who project these statements are unaware of the trauma that the individual at the receiving end is sailing through.
- “Are you Single or Committed?”
Okay this may be a very general question and not unpleasant I agree. But in a lot of cases most of us are in a phase where we are not sure of our relationship status or sometimes we prefer to maintain a stealthy relationship status. In many of these circumstances, when somebody you have just been introduced to asks you if you’re single or committed, it gets a little awkward to reply immediately especially if you are one of those unlucky ones who cannot lie at the drop of a hat. Unless, you are trying to ask someone out, for casual conversation, try to stay away from this awkward question.
- “How much do you make?”
Although the saying goes, “Never ask how much a man makes and how old a woman is”, how much somebody earns, irrespective of their gender is a question you should NOT ask anyone. This is just simply bizarre to many people. In fact, first impressions of you can come crashing down because of a question like this.
- Assuming Someone’s Job is Derogatory
“It is a good part time money right? At least for the time being till you find something more stable?” Yes, just assuming that your friend is not happy in their job and definitely looking to upgrade his/her status is not only demeaning but also insulting in so many ways.
“Must be so difficult working here, you must be counting your days right?” Lines like these are extremely impolite, especially when the person on the receiving end has not expressed any misery of his/her working condition.
- “You look so tired, haven’t you slept?”
This may sound sweet, out of concern even to many people, but to some, it can be upsetting. Personally I have faced this question quite a few times even when I was not tired and was feeling perfectly healthy. Questions like, “You look so tired, haven’t you slept well?” or “You look exhausted, is everything alright?” makes the person realize or think that they are not looking their best and projecting “Tired Vibes”. So, it is always better to just ask somebody how they have been doing and trust me if they are tired and not feeling well, that is exactly what they will express by themselves. Insinuating that somebody is looking tired, gives out an indication that they are looking weary which can be bothersome and not a very decent comment to make.
- “Turning 30? So when are you getting married?”
Honestly, this question should be banned in so many countries because getting married at the “Right” age seems to be of so many people’s main concern. Men and women both face these questions after reaching society’s “appropriate age” for marriage. “So you are doing quite well in your career, making money, when are you bringing a wife home?”
In case of women, “If you don’t get married now, it will be too late for family planning.” Questions like these are simply too personal to be asked randomly especially because someone has turned a certain age.
Bottom line is, let us all try to keep an optimistic mindset and approach when interacting with people. Although being straightforward is surely appreciative, it is also necessary to be cautious of what comes out of your mouth.
If you have faced any more of these situations or questions when you wanted to throw in a punch on the other person, please share them in the comments.
Indeed such questions are not only impolite, these are rather offensive, but in Indian subcontinent most people, particularly relatives, however much distant they may be, never think twice before bombarding with such pseudo concerns. Not realising that these are personal and none of their business.
But in western world people do respect personal space not only maintaining personal space physically say in queues but also not being too inquisitive and invading in questioning/enquiring. Well it takes all kinds to make this world. IMO.🤔
That is so true. Most people are completely unaware of how inappropriate these questions or comments can be.