For many of us, worrying has become a characteristic gesture; it’s like we can never stop worrying. This habit may keep many of us lying awake in our bed at night and annoyingly gnaws away at us as we try to work, relax and enjoy life. Unrelenting worrying behaviour is deliberating and can drain you of positive energy – both physically and mentally.
However, the good news is: like any other habits, it can be changed. If you are someone who worries a lot, chances are, you aren’t able to enjoy yourself as much. They may not be able to concentrate on your goals and pleasure. Life feels much draining and lacks pleasure for you.
Simply put: you are not happy.
Here are some ways you can worry less and start living all over again:
- Think About It Differently:
Will it make your problems go away or prevent them from taking place in the first place? No. Then there’s no use of thinking about it over and over. You’re just taking away your peace of mind and making up scenarios that are not even there.
- Allow Yourself Some Time To Worry:
While worrying, the next thing that you do is, tell yourself “don’t worry” or “don’t think about it”. Know that this thought stopping approach does not really work. Why? That’s because it’s a negative command and you cannot process it well. In fact, it forces you to think about that very thing you’re trying to avoid.
For instance, you’re thinking about something like “I don’t want to imagine zebra with blue and pink stripes.” In order to avoid thinking about such a zebra, you first need to consider what a zebra looks like. So, even if someone tells you or you tell yourself that “don’t worry about a blue and pink stripe zebra,” you actually need to think about a zebra in order not to think about it at all. That being said, you need to designate your time to worry. Give yourself at least 15 minutes a day to let it all rip.
When are you most relaxed during the day? But never choose a time near bedtime. Let all your thoughts gush. If you can, worry more deeply only during this time, than you would typically do. Paradoxically, this is something that will give you more control over the thing that you otherwise feel you don’t have any control over.
- Control:
Ask yourself: can you control the issue? The biggest mistake that you do is worry about something that you have absolutely no control over, yet it’s dominating your thinking process. It’s like worrying about the weather; you can’t control it, but you can definitely prepare for it.
- Fiction Or Fact:
Now, this may sound very traditional, but this is a method that is proven to work. Take a piece of paper and make four columns, on the far-left side, write down what’s worrying you, and in the next column, identify if it’s a fact or a fiction. Then write an alternative way of thinking and finally, go back to thinking if the original thought was helpful or not. Here’s an example:
I) “I’m afraid, I will fall sick, and I might not be able to make to the movie on Friday.”
II) “I fell sick, so the thought is unjustified and fiction.”
III) “I’ll make sure not to fall sick and take proper care of myself so that I can make it to the theatre on Friday.”
IV) “I did not fall sick, and I did make it to the theatre. My worries were unnecessary and didn’t really affect my health.”
- Become A Problem Solver:
There’s a gap between worrying and actually solving the problem. Worrying is all about repeating your thoughts over and over that leads to unnecessary stress and worry and gets into the way of actually enjoying your life and being productive. Whereas, solving the problem is about getting out of the current way of thinking and making your life better. It’s always a better idea to put on your problem-solver hat and get into thinking about possible outcomes. How would you have advised your friend if they had a similar issue? What are the steps that you would take to ensure a proper solution? Take that action now.
- Become Friends With Uncertainty:
It’s okay to think about how things will exactly turn out to be. Accept the fact that life is unpredictable. It would be quite dull if you knew everything that is about to happen. Think of everything right with life and try to embrace ambiguity.
Worrying is usually associated with the future – what might happen and what are you going to do about a particular situation. It’s actually a centuries-old practice of mindfulness. Observe your worries and finally, let them go. Help yourself by identifying what’s causing this problem and get in touch with your emotions. Reinforce yourself into a new mental habit so that it breaks free of the negative worry cycle.