Relationships can be complicated, but few things are as painful and frustrating as realizing your partner is engaging in monkey branching. If you’ve ever been in a relationship where your partner seemed to have a backup plan—flirting, texting, or even lining up a new relationship before ending the current one—you may have experienced this firsthand.
But what exactly is monkey branching? Why do people do it? And most importantly, how do you deal with it if it happens to you? Let’s dive deep into this relationship phenomenon and uncover everything you need to know.
What Is Monkey Branching?
Monkey branching refers to the act of starting a new romantic connection while still being in a relationship—essentially lining up a new partner before leaving the current one. The term comes from the imagery of a monkey swinging from branch to branch—never letting go of one branch until they have a firm grip on another.
This behavior can take different forms:
✅ Emotional Monkey Branching – They emotionally invest in someone new while still in a relationship. This could involve flirting, late-night texting, or forming an emotional bond with another person before officially breaking up.
✅ Physical Monkey Branching – They start dating or even sleeping with someone else while still committed to you, gradually pulling away until they make the jump.
✅ Serial Monkey Branching – They are never single—always in a relationship or transitioning into one, avoiding being alone at all costs.
Why Do People Monkey Branch?
People who engage in monkey branching often struggle with commitment, fear of being alone, or lack the emotional maturity to handle a breakup properly. Here are some common reasons why they do it:
1. Fear of Being Alone
Some people have an intense fear of being single. They view relationships as a security blanket and want to ensure they always have someone to rely on emotionally and physically.
2. Low Self-Esteem & Validation Seeking
Monkey branchers often need constant external validation to feel worthy. If their current relationship doesn’t give them enough attention or admiration, they look elsewhere while keeping their current partner around as a fallback.
3. Grass Is Greener Syndrome
They believe they can always do better and are never satisfied in a relationship. Instead of working on issues, they jump ship at the first sign of something new and exciting.
4. Emotional Immaturity & Avoidance of Conflict
Rather than having an honest breakup conversation, monkey branchers prefer a gradual escape. They start shifting their attention to someone new, pulling away emotionally, and leaving their current partner confused and hurt.
5. Commitment Issues
They may be afraid of fully committing, so they keep one foot out the door at all times. This way, they can quickly pivot if things start to feel too serious or challenging.
6. Thrill-Seeking & Infidelity Tendencies
Some people enjoy the rush of a new romance and actively seek out new partners even when they are already in a relationship. Monkey branching is just another form of serial dating or habitual cheating.
Signs Your Partner Is Monkey Branching
It’s not always easy to spot monkey branching, but if your gut tells you something is off, pay attention. Here are some red flags to watch out for:
🚩 Sudden Emotional Distance
They start becoming less affectionate, less engaged in conversations, and emotionally withdrawn. They may seem distracted and uninterested in spending quality time with you.
🚩 Increased Secrecy with Their Phone
They suddenly become super protective of their phone, changing passwords, deleting messages, or always tilting their screen away from you.
🚩 Frequent Mentions of a “New Friend”
If your partner keeps bringing up someone new in their life, especially in a way that seems unnecessary, they may already be emotionally investing in them.
🚩 They Flirt Openly & Disrespect Boundaries
Even though they’re in a relationship with you, they still engage in flirty conversations, DMs, or secretive interactions with other potential partners.
🚩 Their Social Media Behavior Changes
They start following a lot of new people, liking suggestive posts, or being tagged in flirty comments or pictures—all while acting distant toward you.
🚩 They Stop Planning for the Future with You
If they used to talk about long-term plans but now avoid the topic, they might already be considering leaving.
🚩 They Break Up Suddenly, but Quickly Move On
If your partner dumps you out of nowhere and is in a new relationship within days or weeks, chances are they were already preparing for it.
How to Handle It If Your Partner Is Monkey Branching
1. Trust Your Instincts & Gather Evidence
If you suspect monkey branching, don’t ignore your gut. Pay attention to patterns of behavior and see if your concerns are valid.
2. Communicate Clearly & Set Boundaries
If you notice shady behavior, confront them calmly and express how you feel. A genuine partner will reassure you and work through concerns, while a monkey brancher will likely gaslight or become defensive.
3. Don’t Beg or Chase
If someone is already emotionally or physically checked out, don’t fight for them. A person who truly values and respects you won’t put you in this situation to begin with.
4. Prioritize Your Self-Respect
If you discover your partner is monkey branching, don’t stick around hoping they’ll change. Know your worth and walk away with dignity.
5. Go No Contact After the Breakup
Cut off communication completely. Monkey branchers often try to come back if their new relationship fails, but don’t let them use you as a backup plan.
6. Focus on Healing & Self-Growth
Instead of dwelling on what they did, channel your energy into self-improvement. Hit the gym, start a new hobby, reconnect with friends, and remind yourself that you deserve better.
7. Learn from the Experience
Monkey branching is a red flag of emotional immaturity and commitment issues. Moving forward, choose partners who exhibit loyalty, emotional availability, and clear communication.
Can a Relationship Survive Monkey Branching?
While it’s possible to rebuild trust if the person genuinely regrets their actions and is willing to put in the work, most monkey branchers repeat the behavior because it’s part of their personality.
If your partner was emotionally checked out before leaving, they will likely do it again when the next “better option” comes along.
True, committed relationships are built on trust, loyalty, and communication. If someone can’t fully commit to you, it’s better to walk away and find someone who will.
Final Thoughts: Know Your Worth ❤️
Monkey branching is a form of emotional betrayal and a clear sign of relationship instability. If someone is keeping you as an option while seeking something new, they don’t deserve you.
Instead of obsessing over why they did it, focus on moving forward, healing, and leveling up your life. The best revenge? Living well and choosing a partner who values and respects you.
Because at the end of the day, you deserve real love—not someone who treats you like a backup plan. ❤️✨